


What's So Great About the Outdoors?

by moonlitfog



Series: Comment fic [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-08-08
Packaged: 2017-12-22 19:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/916969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitfog/pseuds/moonlitfog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Comment originally posted on Jim and Bones, an f-locked community on LiveJournal. Posted 5-23-2012. The pictures were of Chris sitting on a fence top along a dirt road and Karl in the back of a car, looking to the side. Cracky fic. Some language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's So Great About the Outdoors?

Bones sat in the back of the car, staring out worriedly at Jim, who was sitting on a fence glaring at him. Eyes flicking between Jim and the creature, he licked his lips and froze when the critter moved. Bones was no coward, but there was no way he was risking life and limb by leaving the car to join Jim.

~O~

Jim stared into the car at Bones, who was apparently not planning to get out for love or money. Finally, Jim stalked over to the car and slid in beside Bones. Gritting his teeth, he growled, “Get out.”

“No.”

“Bones. For the love of god, just get out of the damned car. We came here to camp, it’s gorgeous, we’re here for two weeks, and you are not spending the entire time ensconced in the backseat of this car.”

“I am not getting out. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll get in, turn us the fuck around, and drive us away from here as fast as this antiquated rust bucket will go.”

“That isn’t happening, Bones. I hid the keys. We’re staying here until the last day.”

“Goddammit Jim. I did not just survive five years in space just to come here and die a horrific death because your idea of fun is risking both our lives with that thing out there.”

Bones nodded out the window at the menacing monster perched on a rock by the road side. Jim turned to look at it, and turned back in disbelief.

Waving a hand vaguely over his shoulder, he questioned, “That? That’s why you won’t get out? Bones, it’s the great outdoors. There’s wildlife. Deal with it.”

With great patience, Bones replied, “Jim, that isn’t wildlife. That is a disease vector. That is a carrier for bubonic and pneumonic plague. We get out, get anywhere close to it, we’ll die from the scourge of the Black Death.”

Eyes narrowed, Jim stated, “Bones. That is a squirrel.”

“Exactly. I ain’t dying because of some diseased, flea-bitten, fluffy-tailed, wanna-be rat.”

With a sigh, Jim got out and shooed the squirrel away. It leapt up the side of a tree and chattered disapprovingly at him from a limb before disappearing into the pine needles. Returning to the car, he slid in beside Bones again.

“OK, I’ve saved you from the evil rabid squirrel. You can come out now.”

“This is Lake Tahoe. Plague is endemic to the area, there are more of them, and it’s a crap shoot whether one of them is a plague carrier or not.”

“What can I do to convince you to come out and relax?”

A sly calculating look passed over Bones’ face before he leaned back. “Well, I guess I could come out if you want to make it worth my while.” His eyebrow arched when he added, “I’m sure you could think of something.”

Jim smiled before tugging Bones’ hand to him. Lifting the index finger to his lips, he licked at the tip before sucking it into the warmth of his mouth. He laved it with his tongue, flicking the length of it before sucking hard and pulling back to let it slip out with a pop.

The gorgeous hazel eyes fixed on Jim had gone dark with lust and the plush lips had parted slightly as Bones groaned softly. Jim leaned forward to brush his mouth over Bones’ lips. Before Bones could seal their mouths together in the deep kiss he was aching for, Jim slid out the door.

“And, that’s all folks. For anything other than the coming attractions, please enter the tent.”

With that, and the most scorching come-hither look he’d ever graced Bones with, Jim peeled his shirt off and crawled into the tent. Bones scrambled out of the car and was ducking down to enter it when he was assaulted by a dropped pine cone. Looking up, he was in time to see his nemesis, The Vector, hurl another pine cone at him before scolding him and disappearing with an uppity flick of its tail.

Jim grinned at the “Goddamn it, Jim,” and yanked the indignant doctor inside before proceeding to make Bones forget his name. It was a promising start to what even Bones admitted turned out to be an excellent vacation.


End file.
